


You’re Dead To Me, Goodbye

by GameOfHounds



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Cemetery, Dialogue Heavy, Established Sandor Clegane/Sansa Stark, F/M, Mama’s Boy Sandor, Married Sandor Clegane/Sansa Stark, Meeting the Parents, Older Sansa Stark, One Shot, POV Sandor, Past Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Pregnant Sansa Stark, Sandor Clegane needs a hug, Supportive Sansa Stark, Very Heavy, letting go, making amends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-11
Updated: 2018-03-11
Packaged: 2019-03-30 00:41:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13938906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GameOfHounds/pseuds/GameOfHounds
Summary: Months after his father’s funeral, Sandor visits his mother and fathers graves with Sansa at his side.(Modern GOT/Sansan)





	You’re Dead To Me, Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> The title was inspired by Puppets 3 (The Grand Finale) by Motionless In White lol.

“Are you sure this is what you want?”

That’s the millionth time Sansa had asked him that. That and she said “You don’t have to go see him.” And “You owe that man nothing.” But he was sure.

Sandor nodded and said “I’m sure, Little Bird. I was sure the first time you asked, and I’m still sure now.” as he turned the corner. When he saw the cemetery ahead, he tightened his grip on the steering wheel, and pulled in.

**

The last time he was at this cemetery, it was his moms funeral when he was nine. He wanted to visit more, but it hurt too much to see her like that, even if she’s in a better place. His dad got buried next to her a few months ago, and he could care less about him.

When Sandor got the news that his dad had passed away from a brain aneurism, he left the shop early and when he got home, he sat there drinking until Sansa got back. He wasn’t sad that his dad was dead, the man was awful. When he told Sansa, she said the timing was eerie. He asked what she meant by that and she said “Well...Remember when I was sick a couple weeks ago and I went to the doctor after I felt better? Well I just got the results...I’m pregnant.”

Sandor went from drinking and wondering how to feel about his dads death to ecstatic and crying, knowing he’s going to be a dad. Part of him almost felt bad, but the other part didn’t. He promised himself and Sansa that he’d be a better dad than the one he got, and if he wasn’t, then she could go right ahead, take the kid, and leave him. He wouldn’t stop her.

They stopped by a florist and Sandor bought some flowers for his mom before getting back in the car. When he got over to Sansa’s side, she asked him one more time if he was ready to do this.

He nodded and said “I promise, I’m fine. If I puke or pass out, then I won’t be fine.”

She gave him a look but he simply smiled and pecked her on the lips before helping her out. Sansa was four months along now, but she hardly looked it. It took them a few minutes but when they found the graves, Sandor sighed.

Sansa squeezed his hand and asked “You okay?”

He nodded and said “I’m good, Little Bird.” Before lying the bouquet in front of his moms headstone. He let go of his wife’s hand and stuffed them in his pockets, before stepping over to the right where his mother was. “Hey mom.” He started. He pulled one hand out of his pocket and scratched at his beard before saying “It’s uh, it’s been awhile, I know. Last time I was here, I was a lot shorter. I’m sorry for not visiting, it’s just...Things have been hard.

But I’m doing fine. Gregor probably isn’t, he’s been rotting in prison for the last eight years, so I’m assuming he’s not doing great. But things have really changed since I last saw you. I got taller, gained some weight, surprisingly I’m not too fat just yet.”

Sandor and Sansa looked at each other, smiled, and Sandor said “But with her cooking, I’m sure that’ll happen. I graduated high school, dad said I wouldn’t. Went to trade school, busted my ass for a few years until I opened up my own shop. It’s doing great, working on cars and bikes had been my dream since middle school.

I met a great girl too, you would’ve loved her. Her names Sansa. I met her when I was fixing her brakes. She’s real sweet, beautiful, and she sees something in me that I’ll never understand. But I love her and she loves me, so I’m happy. We dated for four years, lived together for one of those years, before I asked her to marry me. Craziest part was she said yes and well, we got married..” he smiled and put his arm around her shoulder and squeezed.

He said “It’s weird, the day I found out about dad kicking the bucket, was the same day Sansa found out she was pregnant.” He laid a hand over his wife’s swollen belly and said “She’s four months along now, she thinks she looks like a wreck, but she’s far from it. I tell her every day she looks gorgeous, but she doesn’t listen to me, I dunno.” And shrugged. He chewed the inside of his cheek and looked down at his feet. He sighed and said “I’m not really good at this, but...I miss you, mom. Dad never deserved you, neither did Gregor. That’s probably a shit thing to say, but I’ve always been honest..”

He swallowed and said “I’m sorry you were married to the bastard, and that he stressed you out all the time...I know the only reason you didn’t leave him was for our sake, but leaving him could’ve...It could’ve helped. And even though I always tried to make you feel better, you-“ he stopped and Sansa put her hand on his back, rubbing in between his shoulder blades to relax him.

He took a few deep breaths, feeling tears in his eyes the whole time. “The stress killed you anyways...If it didn’t then, learning that Gregor disfiguring me two years later, would’ve done it. But after Gregor fucked up my face, CPS got me out of there and I lived with grandma and grandpa. Dad tried to save his ass by lying for Gregor, saying it was an accident, but I told the truth. I don’t care if they would’ve killed me, I couldn’t stay in that house anymore. Thankfully I was with your parents, not dads.

Grandpa taught me everything I know about cars and stuff, and he was more of a dad than the sack of shit buried next to you, will ever be...I’ll come here to see you more often, I promise...I love you, mom.” He pulled away from Sansa and laid a hand on top of her headstone before looking over at his dads.

He stepped towards him and said “Well...Heard you bit it a few months ago, but I didn’t come to your funeral. I didn’t cry when I found out, but I did cry when my wife told me she was pregnant...The timing was a little creepy, but what can you do, huh?

I thought about this day a lot, what I wanted to say and everything, but...I guess as soon as we pulled up, I drew a blank. But now I know what I wanted to say...You were horrible to me. You were so horrible to me growing up, it’s amazing I didn’t turn out to be like your or Gregor. You were horrible to me, to mom, but Gregor was your little angel. Well guess what dad? Your little angel is rotting in San Quentin, has been for the last eight years, while I have yet to see the inside of a prison cell, and I never will.

Everyone you knew hated you. You stressed your wife to death, you liked to smack your kids around, but I was your favorite with that. You protected a monster after he fucked my face up, you lied for him, but I got out of there. You called me worthless, pathetic, said I’d never amount to anything...But let’s see, I worked my ass off the last couple years in high school, then did the same with trade school. I’ve got my own business that’s doing great.

You told me no one would ever love me, especially with a face like this, but I’ve got my pregnant wife standing next to me. Her names Sansa, she’s kind, she’s loving, and she’s gonna be a great mom.

I promised her that I’d be a far better father than you ever were, I thank God every day that she never got stuck in our house. I’m thankful that she grew up in a good household with a good family, and has people who love her, and wasn’t tainted by our family. Her folks are excited for the baby, I was scared to death to break the news about her baby. It was worse when I told her parents I wanted to marry her, but obviously things worked out.

But I’m gonna be good. I’m gonna be there for them no matter what, and I told Sansa if I ever turn out like you or worse, then she can leave me. She could pack up, take the kid and leave, and I won’t stop her. Most people say if you grow up in a shitty household, you could end up really messed up, and could end up doing the same to others. Cause those patterns can repeat.

Well I got messed up, but I’m messed up with my own business, a beautiful wife, and a new son or daughter on the way. I’m not a monster like your Gregor, who likes to rape and kill people, especially preteen boys and girls. I would never turn into that sick fuck...Look I don’t plan on staying all day, so I’m gonna wrap it up here. You told me I’d never be anything, but you were wrong. I made something of myself. I got married, I’m gonna be a dad, I’m not rotting in a cage, I’m here, and you’re not.

You were a horrible father, but I guess because of you, I’m where I’m at now. I may be a Clegane, but I’m a Clegane that despite our reputation, turned out pretty good. I’ll be coming back here more, but only to see mom. Sorry that you died, but not really...Well, bye then.” He took Sansa’s hand and they walked off back to to the car.

**

The ride home was quiet, and Sansa spent most of the ride watching Sandor. Sandor finally looked over at her and asked “Are you trying to burn a hole in my head, Little Bird?” Before looking back at the road.

She shook her head and said “No. I just wanted to make sure you were okay..”

He smiled and said “I know you are, Babe. But I’m good. I really am. I plan on visiting mom once a month, and for dad, well...Grave desecration is illegal.” They laughed and Sandor said “But honestly Little Bird, I’m good. I’m great.” He took his wife’s hand in his and kissed her knuckles and she smiled.


End file.
